Holiday Edition! Ten things you can hang on your Christmas tree... but shouldn't.

1. Car keys. -For the extra "Jingle-Jangle."

2. Sunglasses. Our tree actually has sunglasses on it, mostly because it seemed like a good place for them while picking up the house. This was the same reasoning for...

3. A drawing dummy. You know, the wooden miniature mannequin that artists use? That one.

4. Scented tree air fresheners. That's our master plan. Obviously, you'd want to get... "black steel" scented ones. Nothing says "happy holidays" like the smell of a clean truck! Or if you want to go all out...

5. Other miniature Christmas trees. Heck, if you can swing it, full grown trees! -For a nice fractal effect.

6. Pictures of overly decorated Christmas trees. If you want the little trees but don't want to go through all the effort, this one's for you. Plus, you can live knowing you decorated above and beyond all of those trees in the pictures. Think of the looks on their faces when you tell them, "I actually decorated my tree with yours." Priceless.

7. A skull. I grew up with an Angle Moroni from the Book of Mormon on my tree, so I like to think it's an Angel Moroni's anatomically correct skull.

8. Mixing Spoons. They were given to us for Christmas with a cake mix... And now they are on (mostly in) our tree.

9. Scissors (up high to be out of reach of Great Danes) and a roll of garbage bags. These are grouped together as a "Christmas Morning Cleanup Kit," conveniently placed in your tree for easy access on the big day!

10. Anything potentially non-Christmas related. This one's kind of a throwaway... Because I can't think of anything else.

Merry Christmas, all y'all!!

The Ukelele

Today's list is brought to you by the Ukelele.

1. Don't buy your husband a ukelele. Believe me. Just don't do it.

2. Believe it or not, the ukelele sounds worse over the phone then it does in person. Just ask my dad.

3. The only actual time ukelele playing is acceptable is when playing Christmas Island. No, Iz's version of Somewhere over the Rainbow is not an exception. That song has been overdone. It's crispy.

4. All dogs have fleas. That doesn't make any sense. How is that supposed to help you remember the pitches? And just for the record, our dog doesn't have fleas. So there!

5. Don't let your friend give your husband a ukelele either. That's just as bad.

6. I heard on a podcast (How to do everything. Best podcast ever, by the way.) that a family was remodeling their bathroom, and they found a ukelele in between the walls. Those poor souls. Hopefully is was beyond all repair.

7. Ukelele is really fun to type. Go ahead. Try it.

8. The ukulele originated in the 19th century as a Hawaiian interpretation of the machete,^[3] a small guitar-like instrument related to the cavaquinho, timple, braguinha and the rajão, taken to Hawaii by Portuguese immigrants, many from the Macaronesian Islands. It gained great popularity elsewhere in the United States during the early 20th century, and from there spread internationally.  Thank you Wikipedia. Machete not to be confused with machete the sharp knife like object. Even though I imagine both can be painful.

9. If you must practice the ukelele the bathroom is a great place to do so.

10. The swimming pool is an even better place to practice it though.